Sorrow and Happiness

I just have a thought, I thought I would share. The other day in church something I saw struck me as funny, so of course I laughed. When I turned around I found a lady from church looking at me with a concerned look on her face. She then explained to me that she wasn't sure if I was laughing or crying. This made me think...lol. I thought of the saying "there is a fine line between love and hate". It made me think that there is also a fine line between sorrow and happiness. I don't know I haven't thought too much on it...as in I haven't developed the thought. :-) It was just a random thought. Maybe these verses triggered it as I am reading in Ecclesiastes. Chapter 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh... Then 3:8 A time to love and a time to hate.

Birthday

These are pics of my b-day cake, presents and my makeover! I was so excited the night before that I had trouble going to sleep. Just think I'm a quarter of a century old now! I love it! :-) A quarter of a century. My bro called me at 10:30 my time which is 12:30 his time and wished me a happy b-day. I considered myself 25 at that time. Cuz I was raised in that time zone and born in that time zone. lol. My cake was an ice cream cake. My Grandma got a piece of it, then my Grampa and I took it to the mall to share with our friends there. Well, two elderly men (both in their 80's), and a girl from church. It was a bunch of fun. After we ate the cake and talked I went and got a makeover. It was fun. I really don't care too much for makeup though. But it was fun nevertheless. The weather was 60 F. It was nice. I was happy the whole day. lol.

Laughs

I just realized (while watching a movie) that I haven't laughed in awhile. Sad huh? This movie has made me laugh a few times. I miss laughing. :-) I believe I'll endeavor to do it more. I washed my car today by hand (mop). It was the first time I've done this since I was a little girl. I got almost as wet as the car. lol. I used a 10 gallon bucket to rinse the car off and lazy me I filled it up almost to the top so I wouldn't have to make as many trips to the water faucet. I don't think it worked cuz I ended up with half the bucket on me. But the weather was warm enough to dry my skirt in short order. I am once again in the process of looking for a job. My current job will end either this month or next month. They aren't sure yet. Whenever people stop coming for their flu shots are when we are going to close. So if you guys would keep me in your prayers...to find a new job out here I would appreciate it.

Hodge Podge

We are having my dad's memorial this Sat. He was cremated. I got my outfit tonight to wear to the memorial service. My brother went home the day after Dad passed away. He isn't coming back out, but my uncle and cousins are coming in tomorrow morning. I'm excited to spend time with them. I haven't seen my one cousin for about 5 years. With that said I talked to a sister that I've never met. My dad had her several years before he met my mom. She lives in Kansas, has three children and her name is Amber Elizabeth. It is weird having a sister you've never met. I've known about her for as long as I can remember. I've just never claimed her. Understandable I think. I would like to meet her and her children. I am now licensed in two states: OH and AZ. My nursing license that is. I was so excited when I got my permanent license from AZ today. I don't know whether I am going to move back to OH/KY or stay out here. It all depends on whether I can get a job out here or not. But if I do come back it won't be before the beginning of December. My grandparent's are leaving to go to KS/MO next week and will be gone until the beginning of Dec. My dad wanted a memorial in AZ and KS. Ok I know this is jumping all over, but that is how my mind is right now. So I hope you can follow and make sense of it all. :-)

Dad

My dad passed away this morning at 3:10.

Spider bite

Hey y'all. I'm just going to do a short update. Monday they told us that they didn't expect Dad to live more than 2 more weeks. The weather here was PERFECT for a few days. It was not too hot or too cold. I'm serious the only word for it was perfect. One more thing, when Dad was at hospice this last time, my bro and I took turns staying up with him at night. If we didn't they wouldn't let him go outside and that is where he likes to be. So anyway I was outside with him one night and we were dozing together. Well, something bit me. It hurt! Really bad! I thought at first it was a mosquito cuz I didn't see anything. It hurt so bad though that I couldn't go back to dozing for awhile. Then periodically it woke me up cuz it hurt so bad. Well in the morning I didn't think much about it, except that it was a big mosquito or that he'd gotten a lot of blood. lol. Then later in the day I noticed my finger was swelling a bit and was real red. Upon further inspection I saw two tiny holes about a huge spider's mouth apart! I tried to take pics of it to put up but they all came out blurry. But for a rough measurement they are about half the length of my pinkie nail apart! I'm serious! It hurt for several days afterwards too. Spiders for some reason love to bite me. I get bit by them all the time. But this was the first time I was bit by one that actually woke me up when he bit me cuz it hurt so bad. Normally when I get bit by spiders they just look like a mosquito bite with a pus center in the middle of them and itch like crazy. Sometimes little red streaks out from the bite. This bite was different. My finger hurt like all get out, swelled up, and it did itch. I hate spiders! Spiders love me! I wonder if I smell good to them or something. Mosquito's love me too! Anyhow this is way longer than I planned, but...oh well.

New Job!

I have a new job! It is a nursing job, but it isn't in a hospital. It is in a moving clinic giving immunization shots to people. The pay is good and it is part time so I can still spend time with Dad. I'm so happy! God is good! This is my dad. He is going down hill. His lungs are getting worse. But I am thankful for the time God is giving to me to be with him. The weather changed out here really fast. It was from 100+ degrees to 70 and below. I was absolutely freezing for several days. I am now used to it, and it feels quite nice. I didn't expect the temp to get this low. I left almost all my fall clothes in storage in Indiana. It was 40 when I got up this morning. But it felt good.

Praises and Blessings

I don’t get the chance to praise God at the church that I am currently attending. I have so much to praise Him for that I just figured to do it here. I want people to know what He is doing in my life and my family’s.
1. I made it out to AZ safely. The car did not give me any trouble. I was not accosted while sleeping in the Wal-Mart parking lot or on the side of the road. I was not in a wreck, didn’t even come close to being in a wreck.
2. God has touched my dad. When I got here he was admitted to hospice. He looked very sick. I thought he was going to pass soon. But people have been praying for him. People from Washington all the way to North Carolina. I am so thankful for the people praying for him! So dad got better. They released him from hospice. He is back in now, but he doesn’t look anywhere near as bad as he did when I first got out here. They are also releasing him from hospice probably tomorrow. I really believe God has touched Dad. I’m so thankful for that, because for one reason it gives me more time with him.
3. I have two babysitting jobs. It isn’t a lot but it works. I’m thankful for God watching over me and providing for me.
4. I received my temporary AZ nursing license. I know God will provide a nursing job for me when the time is right. Until that time I have my babysitting jobs.
5. My Grampa has relented and let my brother stay at their place. In my opinion God is using my dad’s illness to bring my grampa around to forgiving my brother of the wrong’s he did 8 years ago. My grampa also believes that God is using my dad’s illness to bring dad and my uncle together.
6. My brother has a job.
7. My mom has a job.
8. I found a church to attend. It isn’t a Nazarene church, but it is a good church.
9. God has given me the opportunity to take care of my dad.
I know there are more blessings and praises I could give, but right now I can’t think of them. I just know that God is working in my life and my family’s life. I know that He loves us and is looking out for us. I love Him.

Arizona

So, I've been in AZ for 2 weeks and 4 days. I miss all my friends. I decided on a church to attend. It is my grandparent's church. It is free will baptist. I have been to their church every time I come out to visit, but wasn't sure that I wanted to attend it on a regular basis. So I tried a Nazarene church, but found that I'd rather go to a church where I already knew the people. The only draw back to my new church is that there is not very many people there my age. The church mainly consist's of elderly people. I like elderly people, don't get me wrong, but they can't go out and play v-ball with me or other things like that.

I love the interstate out here! Each side has six lanes and it is made with rubber asphalt. The rubber asphalt decreases the noise of the highway significantly, and makes it a very smooth ride. It sure beats the interstates in Cincy. With that said one thing I don't particularly like out here is that they have cameras at most of the intersections. The cameras are there in case you run a red light. They take a pic of your license plate and mail you a ticket. Ok well, I don't run red lights. But just knowing those cameras are there make me jumpy. The speed limit out here for most of the streets is 45mph. So when the light changes to yellow, usually you have to speed up or slam on the brakes not to run a red light. Out here if you speed up they also have cameras to see if you are speeding. But sometimes you have to speed up cuz otherwise you would be really slamming on the brakes. So I've sped up a couple of times, and while doing so chanted, "Don't see me, don't see me." I was of course talking to the cameras. I don't think they listen very well. I do joke that if I have been getting caught that the tickets are going to Cincy.

My dad is in a hospice center, now. He has been here for 2 weeks. Some days he looks good other days he looks really bad. He fell asleep smoking last night while smoking a cigarette and burnt the book I was loaning him to read! One of the nurses saw and poured water on it to put out the fire. Dad is safe, but my book is in poor condition. I don't mind, cuz I was expecting something like that to happen when he asked to borrow it. It only cost a dollar, otherwise I wouldn't have loaned it to him. Even though I love him dearly.

Road Trip

I drove 1,830 miles all by myself! I left Saturday to come to AZ. I arrived here Monday morning at 5 a.m. AZ time. My first day I drove from KY to OK. I slept overnight in a Wal-Mart parking lot. I covered the windows with sheets and the front window with a sunscreen. I enjoyed myself, immensely. The second day I drove the rest of the way. I slept for 3 hours on the side of the road in AZ. The total cost of my gas to get out here was $170. I was (am) amazed. I love my new car! I had the car set on cruise control at 61 mph the first day and 64 mph the second day. I stopped every 3 1/2 hours. I filled the tank up everytime I stopped. I only let the tank get half empty before I filled it up again. I wonder if that is what helped me to get so good gas mileage. My car was loaded with stuff also. The day I got here I went walking with my Grampa, then we went and talked to some crematories about my Dad. After that I went and set up a bank account out here. That was a cool experience. The guy who set up my account had just moved out here from Cincy in July. We took the same roads to get out here and had similar experiences on the road. We had a good talk.

I had a family reunion last Sunday. I loved it, but of course I would since I place high value on family. I was also able to spend some time with my sister. I had a good time. I haven't been able to spend a whole lot of time with my family lately, and figured I should before I came out here. With that said...my Dad looks really sick. The last time he went to the doctor they told him he now has around 12-16 weeks of life left. So, I'm glad my job found out I was coming out here and fired me before I could quit. I made me move my plans up, and now I am able to spend more time with my Dad. We've been talking. He has picked someone to stand in his place at my wedding (whenever that may be), approved a song I want to play at my wedding in remembrance of him, and picked some names for my first child (if I have any). That's all we've done so far.

Empty and Bare

8-28-08
My apartment is empty and bare. It took much effort on my part to get it this way. J I have vowed to never accumulate this much stuff again until I settle down. I filled at least 15 trash bags of junk. Mostly because I was lazy and just didn’t want to have to pack it up to unpack it at a later undisclosed time. I hate packing and unpacking. I also hate moving. With that said I love to travel.
Sidenote: I have realized when you cut a guy’s hair it gets EVERYWHERE. I trimmed/cut my bro’s hair in the kitchen. Luckily we had all our stuff packed, that we were taking from the kitchen. Otherwise it would have been a disater. So I started cutting to his specifications and I started getting his hair on my arms and guess what…it started itching me. That is another thing I learned about a guy’s hair. It itches! I went to the bathroom to wash it off…yeah…it doesn’t wash well either. When I finally got it all off (mostly) I put on a jacket so that I wouldn’t get any more on me. Well afterwards we had wads of hair all over the kitchen. My brother being the kind soul that he is cleaned it up to the best of his ability. I finished cleaning it up.
Okay back on track. I was told by a friend about 5 or 6 months ago that I was too independent. I have come to realize that he is right. Today I packed my things down from the third floor to the car. I’m not very strong, but I do know how to use my body and weight to carry things. Anyhow I carried a suitcase full of my things down using my leg to brace it and move it. Well…when I made it outside the handle broke off the suitcase. This struck me as funny, so of course I started laughing. At that time I was glad I hadn’t asked for help cuz I could just see someone’s reaction to the handle breaking off. Luckily it had a side loop pulley thing that I used to pull it the rest of the way to the car and toss in. The next big thing I took down (mind you from the third floor) was my kitchen table. Once again I used my body to lug it down the steps. Just so you know this is quit an accomplishment. It wasn’t like it is a tiny table, at the same time it isn’t a huge table either. It is more like a medium small, and wood. I was going to break it down but then realized that I had packed away the Allen wrench (in the suitcase whose handle broke). The suitcase was under the kitchen chairs I had broken down using the Allen wrench and under other things. I didn’t think it was worth it to dig through it all to find the wrench to break down the table. I even managed to get it into the car without any help. I was proud of my accomplishment, but at the same time realized I should have probably asked for help. But I hate asking people for help. Any kind of help. I do realize this can be a hinderance. I didn’t ask anyone to help me move my things…or take anyone up on their offers b/c I am so independent. Plus I hate moving and so don’t want to have to inflict that upon other people.
I adopted a car today, from DeAnne. We went and got the title transfer over and everything. I’m so excited! She named the car Fancy and has had it for about 5 yrs. so I have decided to keep the name.
I passed my RN exam! I found that out today also. I’ve been squealing off and on sporadically, clapping my hands, praising God, telling random people, telling the same people over and over. Oh yeah I’m excited. Now all I have to do is get them transferred to AZ.
So leaving Cinci today I saw the skyline in my rearview mirror and felt a pang of something. I’m not sure what. Lol. But coming home before going to AZ has made me excited. I came to the familiar spots and scenes and thought…ahhh…home. I stopped at Dairy Queen for my celebration of getting my RN. Now I also know that you are not supposed to reward yourself with food, but in this instance I thought I would make an exception. For one I haven’t had Dairy Queen since…the beginning of June I think. I love Dairy Queen. My family reunion is Sunday so I’ll have more pics and stories then.

Coke and Chocolate

Hi Everyone. I decided that since I am moving that this is a great way to keep in touch with my friends/family. I haven't moved yet, but the process is imminent. So I'm sitting here eating a candy bar (Hershey's with Almonds) and drinking Coke (my two favorite things to consume) and reminiscing about my life here in Cincy. I was driving the other day and saw some sights that I probably won't see again. The view of Cincy when you are coming down the hill from 71 from KY, the crazy man who walks the streets around where I live, an old man who rides the bus when I do (I call him Grampa), then there is a middle aged lady who rides the same bus (I don't have a name for her), the old men that sit out on their porch on Dorchester and always wave and say hello to me when I pass (I call them my old men), all the steps I walk up and down to get back and forth to work via the bus (I won't miss them! Especially the ones with human feces on them! Yuck!), living on my peaceful half of the street, going to GBS and playing volleyball, seeing my friends, going to my church and seeing those loved ones, ahh the list could go on... but I'll stop for now.